Carter's Stroke with Pics Below

My baby boy has had a stroke. I can't even believe I have typed those words and that it's really happened. It's such a strange thing to think that I'm actually still able to breath at all with all of this is going on. I never thought that I could hold it together, but I live moment to moment and keep on moving -even if that means leaving the room, taking a shower or doing laundry, or sitting alone at the cafeteria to think. And, the Lord really does keep you moving when you don't think you'd be able to otherwise. I am thankful for the knowledge of the gospel, especially during this trial, and throughout this whole thing we have seen so many shining positive blessing to balance any bad news or worry. The break down...(and this is quite a watered down version, but I have to journal a lot of info.) The Past. At 2am Wednesday morning, Carter cried out -which is a normal nightly occurrence as he is nursed several times through the night. I went in to nurse him and, very obviously, Carter was not himself. To put it simply my Carter was gone. He was vacant, vague and non responsive. He seemed to be out of body; he would look at me, but would not show any sign of recognition to me. I called Joe (he was out of town for work) crying that Carter "was not there, that his mind was gone somehow". I tested his reaction to stimulation, and after it all was not bringing him back, I feared I would never see my baby again. He then had a seizure. His seizures are blank stares followed by facial twitching, tongue clicking, and other things that rhythmically move -it's hard to watch and 2 1/2 minutes can feel like an eternity. The shortest seizure has been 10 seconds, the longest 15 mins.; generally they're 2-4 mins. I called my sister to come stay with the older boys, and called my mom to drive up to babysit long term. Joe got on the road and started his ten hour drive home. My sister called a friend to meet me at the ER to give Carter a blessing. I took Carter to the ER, and he had a seizure as soon as we got there, and we were rushed in. He had multiple seizures in the ER -we were there 5 hours. They did a lumbar puncture to test spinal fluid, they poked every vein to get in an IV. They admitted us to the hospital and Carter rode in an ambulance. He underwent an EEG and was scheduled for an MRI. Joe made it to the hospital by 3pm. He stayed while Carter had his MRI, and after 13hours I finally got a shower. By 5 o'clock we were waiting for the results, and had high hopes that it would show he just had epilepsy (which runs in the family) Then the phone rang in our room while Carter was seizing in Joe's arms, so he and the nurses were preoccupied, so I answered to talk to our doctor. She then told me the test showed he had a stroke. I don't remember much after that, but I had to break the news. The Stroke. His stroke was caused by a blood clot cutting off his blood and oxygen flow to a certain part of his brain. It is a substantial area in the right side of his brain -thus his left side of his body is affected, and is the side to watch for long term problems...such as cerebral palsy. The stroke is causing the seizures; the seizures didn't cause the stroke. The doctor said the stroke occurred within the last 24hrs -which meant that at the time Carter cried out to "be fed" he had suffered the stroke then, and all the things I was seeing when I got him were the first seizures of many. I think Joe and I were both blind sided and instantly in shock. I broke down and cried. A sweet nurse asked if we were of the LDS faith and if so we could have someone come in and help Joe give Carter a blessing. Joe gave Carter his blessing and broke down and cried too. I was close to having my temple recommend expire and, fearing the worst, I wanted my recommend while in SLC, so I asked Joe to round up the bishop and stake Pres. to give me an emergency interview. I got it, and the bishop offered a blessing. In my blessing he blessed me with "immense peace". I know the power of the priesthood is real and was grateful to feel the peace promised me immediately. Joe was also able to receive a blessing too. They Life Flighted me and Carter to SLC around 10pm, we reached the hospital around 11:30. Carter slept the whole time and most of the night. Carter had multiple seizures the next morning. He had 13 alone within two hours. They did another MRI to look at his blood vessels in the brain, to see if they caused the stroke, also they ordered the heart test to determine if a blood clot had come from his heart. Both tests came back with good results. There is no hole or irregular heart beat, and the vessel in his head are fine. The Present. Today has been by far the best day here at the hospital. Carter had very few seizures, and the ones he did have were mild considering all the ones before. He woke me up pretty early -around five, but PLAYED till about seven. He was drowsy and not 100%, but SO much better than the previous two days. Through out the whole ordeal, Carter has had great mobility in his left side. He is almost equal to his right side in his leg, and not far off from normal in his arm. He grabs at toys and smiles at us and responds like his normal cute self. He has flirted with nurses and babbled at toys. He is my good ol' Carter. When I saw him that morning, I thought I had lost my Carter forever. I told Joe, "Carter is not here; Carter is gone." I was sure I'd never see my Carter again. BUT, he is here, and he is normal (other than he's drugged/sleepy etc.) He finished today with a few small seizures, and we will probably be staying through the weekend and into Tues. He has another MRI Monday to determine if he's had another stroke -thus the reason his seizures have not stopped completely with the meds he's on. We're praying he has not had another stroke. The Future. The future looks really good. We talked to a neurologist who specialized in strokes. She said his brain has already been sending blood to the deprived area, and will be able to rewire some the brain to make up for that which was lost. She said he looks really good in the whole spectrum of things. She feels at WORST he'll show moderate affects (using the left hand less or some weakness) and a BEST he'll show no signs at all...however learning disabilities could present themselves later. She seemed hopeful, and we are hopefully too. However, nothing is guaranteed and evidence of the stroke could become more evident the older he gets as he starts developing. We have been really blessed during this trial and have had the peace promised in priesthood blessings. We have felt the comfort of your prayers and appreciate all your thoughts and all the service our family and friends have done for us. We have been fed, distracted (when we've needed to be), and completely comforted. On top of that, we've had errands run, things paid for, and amazing attentive babysitters. We are lucky. And though this is not the best situation to find ourselves, we have been made better for the trial and have found an increase of faith and felt the peaceful reassurance that we are loved and in the care of a perfect Father in Heaven. Thank you all again for your prayers -we have no doubt benefited directly from them. I will continue to have my friend Brittany and sister update face book as we continue our hospital stay.

Pics if Carter from the Hospital

This was the first morning he was close to "normal Carter". He played with me for almost two hours. It was so good to see him again. Before this morning, he was only "normal Carter" before, for ten minutes just before he had 13 seizures in two hours.

His EEG -looks intense but he actually fell asleep and let the tech get a good test. This was done in St. G.

They gave him the cutest little gown to wear (i'm stealing it) and he looks too cute in it. I love my Baby C! Although he has a dopey face here -it's not due to the stroke. For the most part he looks the same. It's just the pic.In St. G inbetween seizures. He was a little alert, so I took a picture.

I'll post more pics later.

Kade's Surgery

This blog has now official become my journal for family events, since I finally started turning it into tangible blog books. So, since it's already been two weeks, I really need to get to the story of Kade and his ear tube and adenoid surgery. After many years of snoring and runny noses, and a month of Kade saying "What?" and "Huh?" along with his volume getting higher and higher, the doctor recommended he get ear tubes and have his adenoids removed. Kade is not the kind of kid who is scared of anything, so when his surgery came, early in the morning, Kade was all smiles and ready to go. Kade is so social and loves people. He was so cute with the nurses and said a HUGE "Thank you!" when they presented him with a little bear for having to have a surgery. He talked to everybody and was hilarious. Nurses would tell the other nurses about the funny things he'd say and more nurses would come over to meet him. It was so cute. Every one commented on how smart he was and how well he talked. (Both are very true.) I helped him into a cute little tiger print hospital gown and got to sit with him for a half hour before the surgery. He colored, visited with everybody and was his typical happy self. I saw a little hint of nervousness when the doctors came to wheel him away from me, but not enough nervousness to make him get upset or cry. He just trusted me and took it in stride. The surgery lasted about an hour and they said Kade did great. AS he was coming too, the nurse asked him if he wanted water or juice -he said no, he wanted root beer. Since all the nurses loved him by this point the nurses searched the whole office and found two cans for him. It was nice. Kade healed quickly and was running around by the end of the day. When I go into his room to check on him at night, I don't hear his snoring and it's so crazy. I'm so glad he's sleeping better and hearing better too. Kade is the toughest little guy -he is so strong and handles hard situations with confidence and maturity. I was impressed with his intelligence, his calm relaxes nature and love that he was such an awesome patient during the whole surgery. I am a lucky mama!

Sweet Brothers.

Tonight, Kade was not obeying and as a consequence he had to go to bed without reading two books. (which is apart of the bed time routine.) It was strictly business. Once Ben was in bed and Kade knew I was serious, he was crying and very upset. (But, there's no giving in once the decision is made and consequences handed out.)
Anyway, pretty quickly he stopped crying, and I could hear the boys talking. I stopped and listened to hear what they were saying.
Kade told Ben he had wanted a story, and so Ben offered to tell him one. When he was finished Ben asked,"Was that a good story?" Kade said, "Yes! Tell me another one." So Ben started, "Once upon a time" -which was followed by a story of aliens and other boy things. After that was a "Hulk" story and then a "Buzz" story.
They are actually still in there telling each other stories even as I type this post. I love their relationship. I love that they are close. I am grateful for good boys who love each other and take care of one another. As a parent we can't always be our kids' best friend and simply make them happy all the time -they have to learn "choice and consequence". That's why I am grateful for siblings, who can love us through rough times.

Future Heartbreaker?

Ben was telling me that he doesn't like to play with girls -"...just boys play with boys and girls play with girls!" Okay. But then Kade pops in and says, "I like girls." I asked, "You do?" He said, "Yeah. But, not when they kiss me."
I asked, "Who's been kissin' ya?"
Kade replied, "Isabella. Oh, and Ashley. And Codera (Codey)."
"They did? At preschool?"
"Yeah. The teacher said, 'No kissing in preschool.' So, I pushed 'em away."
"Do you ever kiss the girls?"
"No, but I hug them."
"Okay, hugging is nice, but we don't need to kiss girls now, huh."
"Nope."

This reminded me of a story from when Joe was little. I guess when he was three or four a little girl of the same age literally attacked him, held him down and kissed and kissed and kissed him forever. His mom and the girl's mom were laughing and thought it was cute, so they didn't stop her. He was traumatized. ;) Maybe Kade's inherited Joe's allure. :) We'll see. Eek!

In the Middle of the Night

As a nursing mom, waking up in the middle of the night just comes with the job. Although it is hard to get myself actually out of the bed at 1:30 or 3:30 in the morning, once i get in the room and pick up my sweet "Baby C", waking up is no longer a chore but a blessing.

Last night I was reminded again just how precious this time is alone with Carter. Everything is quiet. I just listen to him breathing. I rub his little hand and cheek. I really try to soak it all in and savor the moment. Some nights he's more awake and alert and will coo and smile at me before eating and going back to sleep. When that happens I will talk to him for a little while and kiss and kiss his little face.

Carter is child number three, which means he rarely has me all to himself -so these nighttime feedings really are priceless. It always amazes me how your perspective really is the key to your happiness. If I were to focus on the fact that I have to get up over and over again, or focus on the huge bags I carry under my eyes, I'd be an unhappy mama. But, I am determined to stay focused and choose to see the better part. I get Carter all to myself for these small moments. I've had these same moments with Ben and Kade, and am very grateful to have them with little Carter. I love him.

I Love the Things They Say...

Yesterday, while driving, Kade announces, "There's Heavenly Father!"
Me," Where?"
Kade, " In the sky!"
Me, "Wow."
Kade, "No, wait, that's just the sun."
Me, "Oh, it is?"
Kade, "Yeah. Heavenly Father is just taking care of the sun."
Me, "Okay."

Valentines!

Kade's Valentine monster for preschool. So fun to make and it turned out really cute, i think.

My favorite part is his eye and glasses. It sticks out.

Ben hasn't even seen an entire Star Wars show or movie, but he's seen/has enough of the cool SW toys to totally love it all. Funny kid. (Just to give credit where credit's due - I printed off the face, I didn't draw it.)

Ben and Kade attend the same preschool, and needed to decorate a Valentine mailbox for their upcoming parties. Kade had his today, and Ben will have his on Monday.

So, we made these cute and cool boxes. Kade loved making his cute monster box and it was a big hit with the teachers and kids in his class too. :) He helped glue on the hair, hearts, spots, and eyes. I would ask him if he wanted "this" or "that" and he would tell me what to make and what color. He loved that kids would feed the valentines into the monsters mouth. I think the tongue was his favorite. It was really fun for both of us. I love that he's in preschool!

Ben, couldn't decide what he wanted more for his box -Star Wars or the little guys from Despicable Me. So, I figured, we could do both -one side is the little guy, the other side is the star wars guy. Cool! The valentines go through the front of the Clone guy's helmet. Ben helped tape and glue things. He even made the arms and taped them on. Very funny. (He let me do whatever for the star wars guy.) He is excited for his party. Me too.

I am going to try to take more pictures of the things we do around here and make a better journal.

Silly Boys.

Dang red eye. But still a cute picture!

Carter was feeling sick, but Dad still managed to get a couple smiles.

I haven't seen the boys THIS crazy before. They were nuts, and very funny. I don't really know what they were doing, but they were having a great time. (side note, Kade has never been a chubby kid -he's a Joe Jr.- but this picture makes his face look chubby. Hilarious!)

Seriously, these are the types of pictures you love looking back on when the kids are grown. They're pure kid.

Oh, The Things Kids Say.

Joe told Kade, "Just give me a minute."
Kade, being disappointed said, "No, I'm going to keep it forever."

I told Ben, "If you keep asking me (for a show), you're going to drive me up a wall."
A little while later, Ben said, "I haven't asked you in a while, am I driving you down the wall?"

There are more stuck in my head -when I can remember them, I'll post more. Kids are hilarious.

More Pictures of Carter.

My dear friend has reminded me again, that I rarely posts pictures....so, here are some more pictures of Carter. He has gotten bigger and is an amazing baby! He is a great eater, great sleeper and great little talker (coo-er). He's entered the stage of BIG smiles and trying to laugh. I love this little guy.

My Kade.

Now...

Just last year...

Almost one year old.

Wow- around six months.

Only a month.

Kade is THREE!! He is an amazing boy who has more personality then anyone I know. He's determined, persistent, strong willed, and curious. He is lovey and affectionate and ever willing to hold your hand, give kisses or hugs. He's a flirt and hilarious and not afraid of anything.

He was proof to me my heart could grow beyond a capacity I thought possible. He's taught me how to be a little more silly and not to sweat the small stuff. He's a boy I'm sure I'll laugh with and share practical jokes with over the years to come. Yet, he's a quiet thinker who can solve problems and independent enough to do great and hard things completely on his own.

He's a sweet boy, who I couldn't live without. He is an example to me to be better, more enduring and more determined. He will no doubt test me and teach me how to be a better mom. I will grow because of Kade, and for that I am eternally grateful. I love my Kader-bum, and am so amazed that he's already a big three year old.

Kade and Preschool!

This picture was taken the day after his first day, but he got all dressed up again and so I snapped a few pictures with him in his back pack. He feels so big!

I didn't know he'd be accepted into preschool and didn't have my camera for the beginning of class, but this is Kade on his first day of preschool after class. I'd say he had a very good day. He's very comfortable in his new school.

In a previous post, I mentioned the crazy happenstance of Kade getting into preschool. That first day, I wasn't sure if he'd even be allowed to attend. (Because he wasn't even 3 for another two weeks and kids are supposed to be three before Sept. That's a four month difference!) The secretary told me to just ask the head teacher to see what she thought. As I talked with Miss Tracy, Kade was talking too -telling her his name and different things like that- and when I was finally able to ask "Do you think he can attend the three year old class even though he's not quite three?" She said, "Sure, just talking to him I know he's ready and will be fine." So, he walked right into to class and had his first day. Awesome!

Kade is doing so well and learning very quickly. His teachers really enjoy him and are constantly telling me how cute he is, and how funny and smart. They tell me he's a popular kid in class and that he's polite. (I love hearing these things.)
I tell the boys that school is their job and that they need to do their job well. Kade loves having a "job" and having a place to be. I can tell he feels so big and grown up. He is just as capable as Ben at many things, yet he's two years younger and, therefore, can't be involved in all the same things. That is so frustrating for him.

My grandpa used to say, "If you want smart kids, give them experiences." This preschool is giving Kade and Ben many great experiences and only increasing their intelligence. I love that. I love that Kade is in preschool!!!

Just a Quick Display of Gratitude.

A couple days ago, we learned that Ben's AMAZING preschool was closing and that he'd only have two days left. I was a little panic stricken, for several reasons -what would Ben do without his friends and the teachers he knows and loves? I didn't want to break the news. And, how the heck was I supposed to find him a new school mid year?! (I could teach him here -but it's the social stuff he needs and thrives on, which makes me want to send him to a school.)

Well, we were blessed. Another mom had found a preschool that was starting a BRAND NEW class TODAY! And, she was sure they'd still have an opening for Ben. And there was!! This preschool is the same preschool where Ben had attended, for a month, for "Summer Camp"; he already knows the place. And, with his best friend going there, we're set! (I like that it's a whole new set of kids, not Ben coming in as "the new kid.)
On top of that, they have a 3yr old class. I asked if Kade -who will be three in a week or so-could start the class, the teacher talked to him for a minute, and said "yes'. So, all of a sudden, without really any plan or thought to this whole thing, Kade is now attending preschool! He will have four months that he otherwise wouldn't have had, and I love that!

A couple awesome side notes....The new class starts at 1:30 -which, I'd normally not like at all, BUT, I have a new baby and being somewhere mid-morning means being pressed or rushed and no chance to grab extra sleep if possible. Now, I can actually breathe a little deeper on preschool days. Phew! And, it is $45 a month cheaper!! Whoo!

Things happen for reasons we don't always understand, but we can be greatly blessed when we do have to leave the comfortable, old and familiar places or routines. I had been freaking out -only to have things turn out in a way I couldn't have planned any better.

Carter's Blessing

Carter James was blessed this past Sunday. It was a beautiful blessing, and we had fun with our family. Carter was/is little sick, and he cried a little during the blessing. Poor guy. He wore the same outfit Ben and Kade wore. (In the picture, the outfit is missing the cute little vest that goes over top. Then at church he spit up all over it, so it's not in any post blessing pictures either.) He looks so cute. We love this little guy.

Carter before church almost ready for his blessing.

The Harris side of the family! Looks like a lot, but half were missing.

The Johnson side of the family. Still a few missing.